Earth, Air, and Fire

I have been severely depressed for some time now.

When I’m depressed, I don’t reach out.  Instead I pull back and away.  I don’t let anyone in, I don’t send clues.  I just vanish and only if you hunt for me will I open up.  I will not come to you.

In my life, I am constantly surrounded by people, at work, at church, and outside activities.  As I have been sinking, no one has reached out to me.  My boyfriend may not even see how deeply I’ve sunk.  To be so depressed and to have no one reaching out to me, it widens the wound.

In the last few weeks I have subconsciously pinpointed the terms of the current relationships in my life.

And I have prayed.

I have prayed to God that He would bring people into my life to help me.  I want surround myself with the people that will help me search for Him.  I want healthy relationships, relationships based on Christ and love.

Within the last week, God has allowed me some headway.

Earth

Out of everyone at church, this is the only person who asked me where I’ve been and meant it.  Out of friends I have known for months, friends I have seen everyday – he is the one that noticed I’ve been missing.  Whether he meant it as deeply as I took it, I don’t know, but when I started to tell him about what I’ve been going through, he didn’t run away from me.  I really see him being a positive influence in my life.  He possesses a welcoming gentleness and an ability to empathize that I need in a friend.

Air

When Scott told me the benefits of working with another Christian in his place of employment, I didn’t understand.  I didn’t understand the benefits or the camaraderie.  Having this person there helps me stay positive on a daily basis.  I also love having a young, married Christian couple in my life. They show me what Christian love between a man and a woman can be and how they, together, are working for the advancement of God’s kingdom.

Fire

In the beginning, I never anticipated a friendship to arise here.  I thought she was out of my league, too far beyond me to reach out.  God delivers on time, however, and within months, we have been closer.  And that strong Christian influence I was looking for?  I see it in her.  I see her being a leader and being willing and able to reach out for me when I’m fallen.  I see God’s love in her heart, extending past her fingertips and into all the lives of those she touches on a daily basis.  I am so happy our friendship has slowly developed into something beautiful, glorifying God with our love.

I so desperately need these influences in my life, and I can see God in them.  I may not have a multitude of friends, but I do treasure the developing friendships for which I have so desperately prayed.

If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose (Philippians 2:1-2).