“Without the bitter, baby, the sweet ain’t as sweet.”
For many years one of my favorite movies was Vanilla Sky. As Jason Lee drunkenly stumbles away from Tom Cruise who is moving in on his date, he says that Tom can’t possibly know what love is like without experiencing heartbreak.
I may have blogged about this quote many years ago, but I still find truth in his words.
I am broken. I am crushed. I am burnt.
But without this pure emptiness, would I ever be able to fully enjoy the beauty of God and His love for me?
No. Never.
I have never before so intimately and so intently loved God. I have never before been able to feel His love for me.
Every day I am empty and He fills me. Every day He chooses to bless me in unexpected ways, romancing me.
I never knew what His love could feel like—how sweet the sweet could be against the bitter.
Father, let my heart be after you
In this hour of doubt I see
Who I am is not just me
So give me strength to die myself
So love can live to tell the tale
You Found Me, Big Daddy Weave
Dear Lord, I am broken. And it is beautiful. Please let me continue to be empty if it brings me back to You. Let me be emptied daily if that means I seek You daily. Father, let my heart be after You. Let me die to myself every day. I am not my own; I am yours. Let me seek You through my doubts, my sadness, my anger, my hopelessness. Let me not be swayed by the attention by others. I want You. I want You to fill me. Don’t let me rely on anyone else. Let me taste the bitter, and be mindful that You are even sweeter because of it. In Your Son’s name, I pray. Amen.
