Romanced by God

There was a bit of magic in the air today.

Tabitha, Allie, and I sat around my living room table, ready for our weekly study.

This Thursday we read Captivating’s Romanced chapter.  For women, we are the part of God that aches to be loved, adored, sought after, and romanced.

The group talked for a few minutes about our deepest dreams for not only a romantic future, but an all-encompassing one.  It’s been years since I’ve given myself goals or even let myself dream, and stumped, I sat quietly, desperately reaching for any answer.  Unable to find a dream, we made a pact to dream, and for me, specifically, to open my heart.

I wrote it down in my journal, cementing my promise to both myself and God.

It was a lonely thing not to have any dreams, and I felt really sad that I had no heartfelt answer to give.  I never realized what I had given up in order to keep myself from hurting.

With running from the fear of academic failure, somehow along the way I decided I never wanted to fail at anything, and relinquished all my other dreams.

We all felt God’s personal touch in the next moments as we turned the page in the study guide.  Tabitha read the page to herself, and fell back into the couch.  She laughed, joyfully, before reading the opening statement of our chapter.  It read:

Even when I think I do understand how deep God’s love is for me, I don’t fully grasp its enormity.

Every day is so beautiful when we realize that His love surrounds us.  Through Him all things are possible.  If it is His will, He will be there beside me, making it happen.  All I have to do is trust in Him and reach for it.  If we don’t open our hearts, we close out beauty.  If we don’t dream, if we lose our aspirations, we lose sight of His love and His path for us.  How can we really experience love without dreaming?

Thank You, God, for really reminding me of Your constant love for me.  I feel you around me, comforting me in my sadness, smiling with my happiness, and pushing me for more.  Please strengthen me and keep me on Your path and lead me.  Help me to dream.