God's Love

But if we are the Body, why aren’t His arms reaching

Why aren’t His hands healing

Why aren’t His words teaching

And if we are the Body, why aren’t His feet going

Why is His love not showing them there is a way

Growing up, I never liked him much.

I didn’t like myself much, and because he reminded me so much of myself and everything I hated, I hated him, too.  With me experiencing so much depression and anger, he received the brunt of my resentment.  The level of hostility was uncommon and I was ruthless.

It shames me greatly now to admit it.  It hurts me.  All the pain and hurt I intentionally inflicted, because I was hurting.

Now, several years later, and 2,000 miles away, we barely ever speak, but he is still so present in my life.  I think of him often, sometimes purposely, but mostly in passing random thoughts.

Walking through Barnes & Noble, seeing the Calvin & Hobbes series – a memento from our childhood, I almost broke down.  I hold so much pain and guilt over what I’ve done.

I know I can’t change anything that happened, but I see God giving me another chance.

I feel compelled to give not only the love I never received, but the love I never gave to him.

I am desperate to love people, to accept them, to comfort them, to hold out my hands.

I am so unworthy of God’s love, and yet He gives it so freely, so deeply.  I want to share it with others, especially those who may otherwise not feel it.

Christ’s love has inspired me to be a better person.  My brother has inspired me to be a better person.  I hope that he knows how much I love him.

Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God (Romans 15:7).

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interest of others (Philippians 2:3-4).