A Lost Family

I held my son on my lap, shielding him from the intruder in our home.

Maybe 5 or 6, he was desperate to be strong and protect his mommy.  I silently begged for him to be still.

The stranger held us captive, slamming his pistol onto our kitchen counter every few minutes, reassuring us of his growing anger.

It was summer.  Our doors and windows were open.  I could see our lush, green garden outside the terrace.  Terror, however, overwhelmed the prettiness of what would have otherwise been a beautiful summer day.

It felt like hours had passed when I finally heard my husband walking toward the front door.  My heart so desperately wanted to scream to him, to tell him to turn around.  I held my son close.  When he heard his daddy, he tried to scramble away from me.  My grip tightened around him, and like I knew what was going to happen, I shielded his eyes.

The gunman walked to the front door where his accomplice was walking with my husband.  I remember my agony when I realized his ‘accomplice’ was supposed to be my husband’s best friend.  I could see my husband through the screen door, and it was at that moment the gunman shot him.  I watched my husband fall.   I watched him die.  I held our son tightly, wondering what was to become of us.

Sometimes my dreams are so real that I wake up, panicking.  This dream was no different.

This is where the devil seems to be reaching me lately.  In the deep dark corners of my heart, where fear lurks, he pulls sad moments and plays on my insecurities.

Dear God, please protect me from these nightmares.  Please watch over me while I sleep, shielding me from these horrible dreams.  Take over and let Your light shine on the darkness.  Another prayer is please protect me from men whose intentions are not pure—or even men who are interested in more than a friendship.  Please close those doors for me.  Please close those doors.  Please protect me from all whose intentions are not pure, or whose hearts do not belong to You.  And let me pray for those who are searching for You now.  Please help guide them to You as You so lovingly guided me.  Let me pray for their hearts to know You.  Thank You for being merciful, loving, and a Protector for the weak like me.  I love You.  In Your Son’s name, I pray.  Amen.