Anonymous

For a majority of my life, I have lived in silence, tucked away unnoticed.  For a majority of my life, I didn’t really mind.

It wasn’t until I started attending YAC that I desired recognition and gratitude, or to simply be acknowledged by my Christian counterparts.  Yet as desperately as I tried to win others over, I never received the acceptance for which I longed.

During my struggles, it was after a sermon at Second Presbyterian that I visited their bookstore.  Confused, I prayed to God to lead me in the right direction.  I traced the books aesthetically lining the shelves with the tip of my index finger.

I stopped upon Anonymous by Alicia Britt Chole.

It opened my eyes and settled my heart.

Jesus grew up as a relatively uncelebrated boy from an unroyal family in the unrespected town of unliked region—yet this is precisely where God hid His Son for His first three decades of life!  And during those hidden years in Nazareth, God granted Jesus protected, undisturbed room to be and become, to grow and learn.

That’s how hidden years can be for every one of us—if we can recognize their potential and realize that anonymous seasons are sacred places to be rested in, not rushed through—and most definitely never to be regretted.

For many months, I’ve been sad, not feeling as if I’m contributing or being recognized for my contributions by the group.  Slowly I’m learning that I shouldn’t rush into feeding my pride.  Looking at the life of Jesus, my biggest accomplishment right now would be humility, to be humbled.

Right now I should be focused on my walk with God, my growth in Him.  After 25 years of living without Jesus, it would be a great tragedy to rush to the end of the path when there is so much beauty in the journey and knowledge to be gained.  My focus was wrong, and now it is time to refocus and really feel where the Holy Spirit is guiding me.

In hidden years, Father God is our only consistent audience.  Others come and others go, but only He always sees…When no one else is interested in (let alone impressed by) our capabilities and dreams, God is still wholeheartedly with fatherly pride shouting His love over us.

I don’t have to perform for love.  God loves me, genius or not, superhero or not, popular or not.  And He wants me to walk the road He meant for me, not to trivialize it by ignoring it, avoiding it, or rushing through it.

Dear Lord, please give me the strength to remember that Your commendation is the only one that matters.  Please instill on my heart humility and remove my pride.  My life is not about me or what I can accomplish—it is about You, and glorifying You.  It is all for You.  Please help to remind me of that when I am swept away in the current of acceptance and praise.  Let my life be pleasing to you.  In all I do, let me honor You.  I love You.  In Your Son’s name, amen.