There's no need to beg, babe, that's my open
pocket
You take the money from me, I can scrounge
Gave me a fever that will not come down—oh
babe!
You're a young woman cast aside, ostracized
Left on the sidewalk of my lonely life
Young Love, Gavin Degraw
Read.
Yeah, I could read, but today’s such a nice day, God…I
have so many things to do.
Read.
God, I don’t really feel up to it.
Read, read, read.
No.
READ.
God spoke very clearly to me this morning.
When I first heard of the story of Hosea many months ago,
I identified with it immediately. I
never read it firsthand, and after the struggles of this last week it sounded
as if God knew what I needed.
In bed, doggies cuddled up next to me, I opened my Bible
and began to read.
And then began to sniffle.
And then began to sob.
I really felt God speaking to me. It broke and shattered and healed my heart
all simultaneously.
For she said, ‘I will go after my lovers, who give me my bread and my
water, my wool and my flax, my oil and my drink.’ Therefore I will hedge up her
way with thorns, and I will build a wall against her, so that she cannot find
her paths. She shall pursue her lovers
but not overtake them, and she shall seek them but shall not find them. Then
she shall say, ‘I will go and return to my first husband, for it was better for
me then than now.’ 2:5-7
Now I will uncover her lewdness in the sight of her lovers, and no one
shall rescue her out of my hand. 2:10
My life spread before me, I wept. It was surreal to see my entire story summed up
in a few lines.
“Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the
wilderness, and speak tenderly to her.
And there I will give her her vineyards and make the Valley of Achor a
door of hope. And there she shall answer
as in the days of her youth, as at the time when she came out of the land of
Egypt. And in that day, declares the
Lord, you will call me ‘My Husband,’ and no longer will you call me ‘My
Baal’…and I will make you lie down in safety.
And I will betroth you to me forever.
I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast
love and in mercy. I will betroth you to
me in faithfulness. And you shall know
the Lord.” 2:14-16, 19-20
This last set of lines struck my heart the most. It felt like a promise from God—a promise
that one day I would have the desires of my heart. In that moment, I felt the relief and peace
for which I had been waiting a long time.
Mostly, I had an overwhelming gratefulness for Him and a renewed sense
of appreciation for my stained past, a past that only He could redeem.
