Enspirited, Encircled

For so long the desire of my heart has been friendship.

In my circle at church, we are surrounded by a wide spectrum of friendships.  The ones that capture my attention tend to be the ones defined by time, attention, and deep love—best friendships.  Not only has it been a long time since I have had a friendship of such depth, but never have I had a friendship developed in and focus on Christ.  It is that brand of closeness I crave.

Last weekend, a small group from our church went to Moscow, Tennessee, for a weekend retreat.  There is not much in Moscow, a town perfectly designed for a quiet, God-focused weekend.  For a group of twenty-something in our twenty-somethings, it offered us an opportunity to bond.

We played kickball together, ate all our meals together, made s’mores at the bonfire together, worshipped together, prayed together, experienced underground church together, but my most favorite activity was our small group time together.

Our first evening there, we all sat in the warmly lit den and introduced ourselves.  Even still, we were mostly strangers.  While the guys roughhoused to break ice, we girls remained closer to those whom we were already acquainted.  It was the next day when we gathered for our small groups that the atmosphere of unfamiliarity ultimately melted away.

As our group of five sat by the lake, I was touched by each story from each uniquely beautiful young woman.  I marveled at God’s hand in instantly developing trust within our circle.

In a world where much remains shallow and untouched, it was encouraging to be enveloped by immediate love and acceptance.  We grew together as friends, offering our stories and empathizing with each hardship, trauma, success, and desire.

As the weekend came a close, we hugged and made promises to keep in touch.  Among prayers of discipleship and accountability partners, my highest prayer is that of growing in these friendships.  It is my hope that they extend far beyond our experience at the retreat.

I really felt God’s intimate love fold over the group that day, opening our hearts to being vulnerable.  He made strangers into friends, and more distinctly, He made us sisters in Christ.

His Only Son, His Only Daughter

How deep the Father’s love for us

How vast beyond all measure

That He should give His only Son

To make a wretch His treasure

The echo of the evening news welcomed me as came home from a long day.

I dropped my purse on the bed, and stretched, craning my head toward the television.

That’s when I saw her.

My eyes focused on the face of my friend.  Megan looked beautiful, as always, and in the picture her arm was draped lovingly around another lovely young woman.  That woman’s name was Brittney.  The news continued and my shock grew.

As the camera panned across the lot of my old Greenbrook apartment, I listened sadly as the anchor talked about the Thanksgiving tragedy.

Edd tried desperately to resuscitate her.  Ignoring his own wound, he forged on, trying to save her.

It was a painful story to grasp.

He was wounded, hurting, but focus instead on his daughter.  He was a father laying down his life for his most prized love. 

How great the pain of searing loss

The Father turns His face away

The love of a father—unrelenting, unyielding.

The sacrifice of a father—ignoring his suffering.

To see the courage, devotion, and strength, all wrapped underneath a steel ribbon of love, is overwhelming.

If as humans our love flows so deeply, imagine the span and depth of God’s love.  It surrounds us.  It is an unrelenting and unyielding force so infinite that we cannot fully perceive its fortitude.

He gave His only Son for us.

He tries desperately to resuscitate us to His love, from His love.  He puts examples of that love everywhere around us.  I pray for those whose lives were taken that day and that He hold them now, showing them the love that only He can provide.


The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18).

Laughter Light

When we first met, he was a customer and I was a teller.

It was a normal transaction on a normal day, and when he left the branch I thought nothing of it and continued on with my day-to-day life.

It was months later when God reintroduced us at Hope Church, where our friendship began.  From February to November, it has been a year of laughs, fellowship, serving, and loving God.

As we normally do when we’re running errands together, we talked about our walks with God.  To be a baby Christian in a sea of Christians years—light years—farther in their walks leaves us feeling intimidated, scared, and unworthy.  These are thoughts that have plagued me during the last few months.  Not fitting in has left me feeling alone and resentful.

As the conversation came to a close, Jon said, “We each have something to offer; we can’t all the geniuses in the group.”

His words held much truth.  It must have been God speaking through him, because what I witnessed that afternoon showed me the weight behind his message.

He recently resigned from the hospital.  We are both familiar with the discomfort that comes with leaving.  Coworkers may become unpleasant; relationships are strained.  The situation itself is tense.

We walked into the hospital on a mission to retrieve his belongings.  As we passed each former coworker, we were met with a warm smile.  When we reached his floor, his anxiety peaked.  He hadn’t seen his immediate coworkers since his impromptu departure, and he anticipated confrontation.

As the door closed behind us, we awaited the inevitable pitchforks.  I watched in awe as twenty people flocked around him.  Instead of burning torches, however, what I felt was sincere, immense love.  It was a love built on the immeasurable joy he had brought into their lives.  Their sadness emanated memories of laughter—a laughter that would disappear with their Sicilian counterpart.

An entire floor was unprepared and unwilling to see him leave.  Their time together with him had been quite a gift—it was obvious in their continuous hugs and well-wishes.  He brought laughter to the laughterless, joy to the joyless.  Jon is a light in a dark place, and no one wanted to see him leave.

As we walked away from the sad group, I was very thankful that I was not the one having to say good-bye to him that day.

We may not all be literary scholars or worldly geniuses or experienced jack-of-all-trades.  There is so much we won’t be, but it’s what we are that matters.  We all have something different and beautiful to offer the world.  We all have our own God-given gifts that are unique and special.  When we use them, we are a light to the world for God.

Jon really is a light to everyone he encounters.  I never anticipated that he would carve out such a special place in my heart, but am so thankful that God brought him into my life. 

Donald Trumped Me

On a cold, wet Saturday morning a group of our friends met at Confederate Park to feed the homeless.

This was my first ever service project and I really didn’t know what to expect.

We woke up around 3:30 in the morning, and went to the church kitchen to help prepare sandwiches and coffee.  From there, we drove downtown to set up.  When we arrived, Scott darted off to Main Street to buy last minute supplies.  For a moment, I stood around unsure of how to help.  As I watched my friends set up the table, I truly wondered if my being there would really benefit anyone.

In spite of the weather, it was only seconds before many people gathered in line for food.  I greeted our homeless brothers and sisters as they assembled, but it was when Donald came upon the table that I really felt God’s presence.

His soft spirit is what touched me first.  Where we had set-up, the table was on the grass underneath a large tree.  Donald’s maroon, motorized wheel-chair buzzed up to where the grass met the sidewalk—the point where he could go no further.  He sat quietly observing the others in line for food.

“Can I get you something to eat?” I asked.

He nodded, seemingly unsure, and soon I returned with several sandwiches and water.  As he ate, I stood ready to fetch anything else he might need.

God truly blessed me that morning.  I have heard that when people serve or go on mission trips that they benefit more than the people they serve.  I didn’t quite understand until forty-five minutes later when I found myself still beside Donald.

We talked about his life; he had a stroke in 1999.  We talked of his family; his brother Herschel was also there at the park.  Lastly, we talked about God.

“You have friends, right?” he asked me.

“Yeah.”

“Well, you may have some great friends,” he nodded, “but God is the only friend who will never leave you.”

He made many significant points that morning, but it wasn’t long before I saw God’s primary purpose in bringing Donald and me together.  It wasn’t for him, but for me.

In the group, there is one individual at this moment that has hurt my feelings, leaving me feeling embittered.  When I noticed that person at the table, my feelings of virulence smothered my happy spirit.  Anger and resentment filled my heart.  However, I remained stoic—my change in heart unreadable to anyone else.  Hands clenched in my pockets, I turned my focus back to Donald.

It was what he said next that shocked me:

“Prayer is everything.  When you’re mad at someone, pray to God.  When Satan rises in you, pray.  Don’t ever forget to pray.”

As I fought with my own selfish feelings, he repeated himself five more times.  God could obviously see I wasn’t getting the message He was personally delivering.  I struggled within myself and finally—for the time being—let my anger dissipate. 

I cherished the remaining time we had together, listening intently to his messages.  It wasn’t much later that Herschel approached to collect his brother.  I told Donald how much I appreciated him and that he was truly my gift from God that day.

“Donald, I’ll pray for you,” I smiled.  “And pray for me, too, okay?” I patted his shoulder.

His genuine smile reached each corner of his cheeks, and as he turned away, moving farther down the street, I felt both a widening sadness and an immense gladness.  I may never see him again, but his words were an unforgettable gift—he was my gift.

On rainy days, I think of him now and remember the immensity of our God-divined talk, saying a prayer that God will continue to keep him safe.  I went downtown that morning questioning my ability to help, and never expecting instead someone to help me.  God is so wonderful and his gifts are a blessing in more ways than one.

Dear Lord, thank you so much for your gift that morning.  I hope Donald was helped as much as I was that day—and I thank you infinitely for letting me feel your powerful love.  Thank you for your message.  Thank you for Donald.  Please keep him safe and warm, and let him continue to feel your love.  You are a mighty God, and I love you.

Semester End

 Betty (leader) and Betty Ann (teacher)

Tonight my first semester of Bible study ended.

As I sat at our table listening to the older women, I felt such sadness in knowing we wouldn’t be meeting again until mid-January.

There are many women that I admire in this group.

One is from Franklin, Tennessee.  Her heart is so special.  She reminds me of my mother, but there is an endearing love that shines so brightly in her.  She doesn’t choose to argue or defend, but simply state and understand.

Another has friends who have just lost their son to a heart attack at 48 years old.  She is completely and utterly hilarious.  Such a grandmother figure!  She embraces me in such warm hugs and even though we don’t know each other well, she hugs me like she knows me—hugs me like I’m family.

Another lady told the story of her coming to God.  As she prepared for her baptism at 20 years old, her then-newlywed husband kept asking her why and giving her a hard time about it.  Finally, she said, “Listen, if I’m driving home tonight and I die, I want to know where I’m going!”  And with that, he was baptized on the same night she was.

Her friend laughed exasperatedly as she talked about her antagonist husband.  He, too, always asked why and for proof.  Our leader responded, “He was a pilot for Fedex, right?  At some point you just have to have faith!  He had to have faith that his plane was going to take off!”

Our leader is hilarious.  She is thoughtful and has a funny sense of humor.  My favorite moment of her is when we were talking about war, consequences, and punishments.  A woman laughed, “Hopefully He’s kinder now, right?”  She said, “Well, He’s God, and God doesn’t change, so…no.”  It was a funny moment, because it was true!

Another is a banker, and she is just as quirky and hilarious as the rest of them.  She makes the simplest remarks and I just die laughing.

It has been a great semester.  I remember at its very beginning the doubt I felt in signing up for it.  I am so glad that God gave me the push I needed.  I feel like I’ve learned so much and I am so anticipating the beginning of our next semester together.

Credited

I signed onto MySpace last night and found I had 28 unread messages.

I scanned through and deleted most, stopping when I saw an unread message sent May 4, 2010:

A few years ago I was with a man—or really, a boy, who was verbally and physically abusive, adulterous, and financially irresponsible.  Not only could he have killed me, but he crushed my ability to trust and dug a hole of debt in my name so deep I am still not free from it almost three years later.

I stared thoughtfully at the screen.  Ironic.  Charge back?  It seemed like a mere typo initially, but I felt a meaningful message behind its misprint.

I felt a sadness wash over me—but not a sadness related to regret or even nostalgia.  For me, there has never been a moment where I wish I could go back and change that relationship or anything that came from it.  Even though the entire episode was a sad one, God gave me gave me nothing He knew I couldn’t handle.

He wishes he could charge back the hands of time.  To charge would mean to debit or take away; to charge back would mean to credit or to return.  While I would never return, I would give credit. 

I would give credit to God.

The last four years have been a long four years.  Potentially crippling, but I have endeavored.  Through the strength that God has given me, I am still alive and realized some of the purpose behind the pain.

• If I had not met my first boyfriend, I may not have moved to Memphis, the Bible Belt.
• If I had not met my second boyfriend, I may not have started working at Regions and therefore wouldn’t have had the means to move out of his house, end the relationship, and begin living on my own.
• If I had not dated the next, a practicing Jehovah’s Witness, I may not have realized how important my own religion is to me.
• And if I had not dated the last I may not have been reintroduced to God or His importance in my life

All things work together for the greater good, and these relationships are what brought me back to God.  He mapped out my life in a way He knew I would find my way back to Him.

I prayed to God that this young man would find his way and be happy.  I prayed that he would find God again.  I prayed that God would fill his heart with Him in the way that only He has filled my heart.

His message served to remind me of where I once was and where I am now.  I can appreciate the beauty of where God has led me even more today with looking in on my past—from godless to God-full.  Thank you, God, for the reminder, and for always working to bring me closer to You.  To You I give the glory.

Opposided

I have always had a very clear and cut view of opposite sex friendships while dating.

I disconnect and severe most of them, and those that remain, remain topical.

Especially as we age, and the closer we become to marrying someone, I feel like it is a sign of disrespect when opposite sex friendships continue.  I feel like it devalues what you find special in your spouse.  An emotional bond is supposed to be singularly shared between you and your loved one.

I don’t know how other Christians feel.

I do know that I prefer to keep my friendships with men as superficial as possible – a hi, hello, weather, work related chats.

Another step I take is that when I meet a new couple I focus on the woman in the couple.  I choose not to overstep my bounds in any way even if I only know them because of the man.  That man is hers and I make it a point to show her I know that and there shouldn’t be a fear of me.

Author Melanie Chitwood made these suggestions for couples:

A Slow Boil by Melanie Chitwood

There's a familiar story about the best way to boil a frog—not something I can imagine needing to know, but it offers a good lesson. The story goes that if you put a frog in a pot of boiling water, his survival instincts will cause him immediately to detect the danger and he'll quickly jump out. On the other hand, if you put a frog in a pot of cool water and gradually turn the heat up to a boil, he won't recognize the threat until it's too late.

The lesson here for marriage is to be aware of gradual temperature increases. I've heard people say that an affair "just happened." That may be true in the sense that sexual sin often does not start with a blatantly willful act. A more accurate portrayal of marital infidelity would be to say that the attraction and "temperature" gradually increases the more you are around that person. In other words, affairs develop little by little.

A friendly conversation with a workmate moves to flirtatious comments. Perhaps you find yourself wondering if he finds you attractive. You look forward to your next conversation. Your talks move from chit-chat to more intimate emotional matters. The next step might be secret emails, texts, Facebook messages or phone calls. Then, like the boiling frog, you find yourself in the scalding waters of marital infidelity.

What are some safeguards you can establish to protect your marriage from gradual temperature increases? What can help you avoid being in situations that might cause you or your spouse to be tempted to be unfaithful? Here are a few suggestions:

·        Avoid one-on-one time with someone of the opposite sex. If work or ministry put you in this situation, limit the amount of time spent with the other person. Keep in public places. Keep your office door open.

·        Avoid friendships with other men, unless the friendship includes your husband. Be aware that many affairs begin as emotionally as a connection of the heart.

·        Be careful how you talk about your spouse and with whom you talk. Aim to always present your spouse in the best light. Be careful not to vent about him, especially to another man.

·        Give your spouse free access to your "technology." "No secrets" is a good rule of thumb when it comes to Facebook, texts, and emails.

Truthfully, I probably would have thought this devotion was pretty extreme when I had been married only a short time. So if you're thinking that, I understand. However, after nineteen years of marriage, after researching and writing about marriage for years, and after I've seen many Christian marriages fall apart because couples failed to take preventative measures, I assure you, this is wise.

Consider the ideas presented here, pray about this issue, talk to your spouse, and establish healthy safeguards for your marriage. And I pray you never find your relationship in the boiling pot of infidelity or divorce.

Tonight on his couch, I felt fully discomforted as I listened to my boyfriend chat with his old coworker.

With each laugh, each shared moment I felt growingly uncomfortable.  In my discomfort I googled Christian sites that touched on opposite sex friendships.  I found a checklist that is helpful in determining the integrity or threat of an opposite sex friend.

If you have ever wondered whether or not your close opposite-sex friendship poses a potential threat to your relationship take a few moments to answer the questions below. Read each question and then quickly and honestly record the first answer that comes to mind.

1.       Is your spouse unaware of your opposite-sex friendship?	□ yes	□ no
2.       Would you ever behave differently around your friend if your spouse were present?	□ yes	□ no
3.       Would you feel uncomfortable if your spouse had the same quality of friendship with someone of the opposite sex?	□ yes	□ no
4.       Do you prefer to spend time alone with your opposite-sex friend rather than in a group setting?	□ yes	□ no
5.       Are you physically and/or emotionally attracted to your friend?	□ yes	□ no
6.       Is your friend someone you would consider dating if you were single?	□ yes	□ no
7.       Have you ever entertained romantic fantasies about your friend?	□ yes	□ no
8.       Do you ever compare your spouse to your friend?	□ yes	□ no
9.       Do you think about sharing important news with your friend before your spouse?	□ yes	□ no
10.    Do you and your friend ever exchange highly personal details about your lives or complain about your marriages to each other?	□ yes	□ no
11.    Do you often reference or talk about your friend with others?	□ yes	□ no
12.    Has your spouse ever expressed concern about your friendship?	□ yes	□ no
13.    Is your relationship with your friend ever a source of tension or conflict between you and your spouse?	□ yes	□ no
14.    Have you ever ignored or minimized your spouse’s requests to end or modify the relationship with your friend?	□ yes	□ no
15.    Have you ever deceived or misled your spouse about matters concerning your friendship?	□ yes	□ no
16.    Has anyone other than your spouse ever cautioned you about your opposite-sex friendship?	□ yes	□ no
17.    Do you do things with your friend that your spouse is unwilling or uninterested in doing?	□ yes	□ no
18.    Does your friend fulfill needs that you wish your spouse would meet?	□ yes	□ no
19.    Do you have unexpressed or unresolved anger toward your spouse?	□ yes	□ no
20.    Does your marriage lack intimacy?	□ yes	□ no

If you answered, “yes” to one or more of the questions above, your opposite-sex friendship poses a real threat to the quality of your relationship. It may be in the best interest of your relationship to either significantly limit or actually end your close friendship. Be completely honest with yourself and your spouse and pray that God will give you the wisdom, discernment and courage to do what is best!

It is possible for married people to have healthy opposite-sex friendships. However, special consideration must be given to a number of factors that, if ignored, can potentially serve to threaten your relationship and seriously compromise your relationship with God. If you desire to make or keep your marriage strong, here are some tips for managing opposite-sex friendships in your life.

·        Make your relationship with Jesus Christ your number one priority in life.

·        Develop and consistently nurture a “best friend” relationship with your spouse.

·        Develop and consistently nurture close same-sex friendships.

·        Make sure your spouse knows your friend and is completely comfortable with the type and level of interaction you have with them.

·        Honor your spouse’s wishes concerning your friendship—even if it means ending it.

·        Avoid establishing close friendships with opposite sex singles.

·        Avoid close opposite-sex friendships if you are struggling in your marriage relationship.

·        Address unmet needs and unresolved anger in your marriage in an open, honest and timely fashion.

·        Demonstrate a God-honoring character in all your relationships.

Each friendship needs to be examined individually, I know.  In this unsure and confusing age of twenty-somethings, it helps to have guidelines.

It’s not something with which I feel comfortable, so I will pray for my relationship and especially me.

God, please change his heart or open his eyes to see how opposite sex friendships make me feel.  Please change my heart and open it up to trust him.  Let me see the integrity in the friendship.  Please stay in my heart and let me focus on You as well, and find comfort in knowing that if he loves You and follows You that I do not have to focus on his fidelity.  Please let me think about him and his feelings, and please let him think about my feelings.  Let us both work as a team to honor each other and honor You, our Lord.

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life (Proverbs 4:23).

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy— think about such things (Philippians 4:8).

My son, preserve sound judgment and discernment, do not let them out of your sight; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck. Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble (Proverbs 3:21-23).

Foreshadowing E-mail

Today my coworker sent me an e-mail.  It read:

While walking down the street one day a Corrupt Senator was tragically hit by a car and died.

His soul arrives in Heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

“Welcome to Heaven,” says St. Peter.  “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

“No problem, just let me in,” says the Senator.

“Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from the higher ups. What we'll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

“Really?  I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven,” says the Senator.

“I'm sorry, but we have our rules.”

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell.

The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They played a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and the finest champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who is having a good time dancing and telling jokes.

They are all having such a good time that before the Senator realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises.

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him, "Now it's time to visit Heaven."

So, 24 hours passed with the Senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well, then, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity.”

The Senator reflects for a minute, then he answers, "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell.”

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell…

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulders.

"I don't understand,” stammers the Senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?”

The devil smiles at him and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning; today, you voted.”

Though the basis of this story was political, reading it sent a different message to me.  As I read it intently, I imagined this man standing at the elevator watching as his world vanished.

This is not the world God meant for us.  Massive houses, lavish furniture, extraordinary vehicles, expensive jewelry, designer clothes—none of this you’re able to take with you to Heaven.  And even if you could, you wouldn’t.

The American culture is such that enough is never enough.  Rick Warren of Saddleback Church said, “We must live counter-culture.”  Instead of spending money on things we don’t need, we need to use our money as if it is God’s, because, really, it is God’s.  He wants to see us using His gifts in the right way.  Once a friend told me, “If God cannot trust you with a little, He will not trust you with much.” 

Money is a tool to be used, not loved.  It teaches and tests our:

• Gratitude
• Character
• Priorities
• Faith
• Values
• Responsibilities

I am so happy to be in the place I am now.  I was tested when I was younger, and made horrible decisions with money.  It has taken years to rebound and even still I am not cleared.  Through the turmoil though, I’ve learned much.  I am responsible, not wasteful; organized, not frenzied.  Money is no longer my focus, but God—God is my only desire.  God is our source and supply, not the money with which he blesses us.  That was an expensive lesson, but one I very much needed then.

I live a happy life now even though it’s not a sparkly one.  I contest I live a better life now because it’s not a sparkly one.  Houses degrade, cars breakdown, fashion melts away—this world of our changes so much, keeping up with the Joneses is useless and careless.  In many ways, like the e-mail, it is a trap intended to throw you from God’s path.  Be of the world, and you are dead.  Satan loves nothing more than to take us from God.  It is important for us to stay close to Him.  We must be faithful, and remember that God does bless those who are faithful.

He also blesses our:

• Planning
• Initiative
• Integrity
• Focus
• Persistence

Ideally, for our money to serve God in the easiest of terms, we would allocate our God-given paycheck as such:

1. God
2. Tithe
3. Save
4. Repayment
5. Enjoy it

God, please continue to let me see what I need and not what I want.  You have helped me so much in focusing my financial integrity.  Also, please open my heart and let me feel like it’s okay to have a little fun with my money.  Please keep me from either extreme.  Let me neither drown nor suffocate, but remain steadfast in between, knowing my limits and boundaries.  You are an awesome God, and I love You.

Persistent Wonder

How do you know when to go on, and when do you know when to stop and let God take over.  If He’s working through you, then should you stop or how do you know you’re not just enabling the person to keep doing what they’re doing.  How do you know when it’s enough or needs to end?

I have a friend who is persistent.  She is persistent in many ways.  One of her persistent qualities is that of help.  She is a friend who persistently tries to help.

As we sat talking in my dining room, we both seemed to be wondering when enough is enough.

In situations in regards to friendships, when do you know when to let go and let God?

An abusive father.  Give up or let God?

An alcoholic mother.  Give up or let God?

A drug-dependent brother.  Give up or let God?

An anorexic friend.  Give up or let God?

A suicidal friend. Give up or let God?

How do you know when to stop and let God take over?  When is prayer enough and when is it right to push on?

If God works through us, and is us through our love we share with His children, then when do we close the dam and let go of those we seem unable to further help?

When do you become an enabler instead of someone who doesn’t want to leave the person alone just to get worse?  What are the limits?  What are our limits?

When praying to God doesn’t seem to help give us answers, do we cling to prayer anyway?  How can we continue to be helpful without being hurtful?  Or stop being hurtful and be better equipped to help?

Unentailing Worry

Some time ago Scott bought The Wizard of Ha’s—one of those Veggie Tales movies.  Like any children’s cartoon, it has really catchy music.  One of my favorite songs is, “Monkey,” with Larry and Bob.
 

If it doesn’t have a tail it’s not a monkey, even if it has a monkey-kind of shape.

If it doesn’t have a tail, it’s not a monkey.

If it doesn’t have a tail, it’s not a monkey, it’s an ape.

A few weeks ago I was reminded of this song by a friend—but through a different set of words.

On a Friday afternoon, she and I ventured to Collierville to dine on frozen yogurt.  With sprinkles on my spoon and dread in my heart, we talked about my workplace woes.

Work had become a place of stress and anxiety.  With the opportunity to transfer having arisen, I should have been enthralled.  But instead I had reservations.  The weight was heavy on my shoulders.

Would I be going from a bad situation to a worse one?  Was I abandoning my coworkers?  Was I making a hasty decision?  Would I be making a wise career move?

Many questions fluttered through my mind, antagonizing me.  I wasn’t settled that I was making the right choice.  What should have been an easy decision was a terrifying one.

After revealing my mountain of concerns, she looked at me thoughtfully.

“You know,” she said as she leaned comfortably into the diner chair, “if something is difficult, it’s most likely God at work.”

It was an uncomplicated statement that held resounding reassurance.  For the weeks that followed, I clung to it.

I felt the anxiety dissipate as I gave my fears to God and had faith in Him.  I let God walk with me.  Though it remained a complex situation, my perspective was drastically changed.

Whenever worry would rise, I continued to remind myself:

If it’s difficult, then it’s God at work, even if it’s only anxiety and stress you feel.

If it’s difficult, then it’s God at work.

If it’s difficult, then it’s God at work, trust His will.

In spite of the negative feelings I continued to feel, overall I felt safe.  I was nervous telling my manager I wanted and planned to leave.  I was uneasy revealing it to my coworkers.  I was sad saying goodbye to my many favorite customers.

However, as my last day drew to an end, I felt no anxiety.  Instead my fears were replaced with serenity—a complete soothing of my heart.

She taught me a valuable lesson that day.  I’m thankful God brought us together that afternoon, because her words will definitely be something I hold onto for years to come.